Inuyasha LAw and Order
by Darket
Summary: (FINISHED!) This is what the Inuyasha crew would do if they were detectives. This is ungodly hilarious and you would love it. Read and review!
1. The dead porn star

Inuyasha:  
"LAW and order"  
  
"The mystery of the dead porn star"  
  
A girl walked in and sat at her desk.  
  
Girl- "Golly, 12 porno shoots in one day... I'm exhausted!"  
  
She pulled out a vibrator and turned it on. A sniper came in through the window and shot her. She hit fell and the vibrator hit the floor. It vibrated off and the manager heard the shots. She called the detectives and Miroku answered the phone.  
  
Miroku- "Detective Miroku... What's the problem?"  
  
Manager- "A person was just shot! We need you to investigate."  
  
Miroku- "Please allow seven to eight weeks for investigation."  
  
Manager- "WE NEED HELP! Our other porn stars might be in danger. Now that Betsy hums-a-lot is dead, we don't know what..."  
  
Miroku- "HOLY SHIT! Did I say weeks? I meant seconds!"  
  
He informed the others and they were shaken.  
  
Shippo- "My god..."  
  
Inuyasha grabbed his gun and some ammo belts.  
  
Sango- "Sorry Inuyasha, but you need to sit this one out."  
  
Inuyasha- "Why? I'm not that bad of a detective. Our last case, people were killed. I had to help!"  
  
Kagome- "Nobody died, you decided to go on a rampage and kill everybody! It wasn't a case. It was a birthday party! Remember?"  
  
Months ago...  
  
Inuyasha sat at the table and ate some cake. The boss pulled out a bottle of champagne and removed the cork. Inuyasha's ear reacted and the cork it a girl in the head. She scream and Inuyasha flipped the table over. It knocked cake and punch all over Kagome's dress.  
  
Inuyasha- "HE'S GOT A GUN!"  
  
Inuyasha fired at the boss and took out the people around him. A man tried to calm him down and when he grabbed his arm, Inuyasha shot him. Everybody hit the ground and the party was cancelled.  
  
Miroku- "Dude, chill the FUCK out!"  
  
Present  
  
Inuyasha- "I did what had to be done... I should be a hero."  
  
Kagome- "Inuyasha, just take calls and don't do anything."  
  
Inuyasha- "Ok, I'll just sit here alone and let you guys have all the fun. And don't mind stepping on my heart. It's bloody enough under your shoes!"  
  
Inuyasha was angry and they looked guilty.  
  
Miroku- "Let's get a move on, shall we?"  
  
They left and arrived at the apartment. Miroku took photos and Shippo saw the body.  
  
Shippo- "My god..."  
  
Kagome and Sango took photos and Miroku examined the other porn stars filming a shoot. They were piecing the case together and Miroku spent hours taking photos.  
  
Sango- "Miroku, you've wasted 3 rolls. Are you done investigating?"  
  
Miroku- "No..."  
  
Kagome looked around and had it filled out.  
  
Kagome- "I got it. The sniper was angry because he was going to be in the shoot. He wanted to be with this actor and she didn't want to get gonorrhea. After hours of watching the shoot, the rage built up inside of him. '(Angry Physco voice) Why wont she let me have sex with her? Why doesn't she ever let me do what I want?' So he could over only think of one thing, 'Kill HER!' The killer sat out of the window for some time. He cut his palm to give himself the sick pleasure. He aimed and BLAM-BLAM-BLAM! The woman was down and she crawled for the door. '(High pitched girly voice) Help me! Help me! Some dude with gonorrhea's going to kill me!' She was taken down. The killer sawed off her arms and legs and tossed the head in a lake."  
  
Miroku- "Kagome..."  
  
Kagome- "The body was buried in front of the rosebush outside so they couldn't identify the body."  
  
Miroku- "Kagome."  
  
Kagome- "The killer dipped the body in sulfuric acid and went 'I need more! Blood feeds my soul to Satan!' and went to..."  
  
Miroku- "KAGOME! Shut- up!"  
  
She opened up her purse and pulled out some pills. The bottle said 'Chill the FUCK out kid- pills'. Kagome took a few and relaxed.  
  
Sango- "Do we have a suspect?"  
  
Kagome- "No... But I know one."  
  
Minutes later...  
  
Sesshomaru was shaking and Inuyasha held his head.  
  
Inuyasha- "Now, where were you at 11:00 last night?"  
  
Sesshomaru- "In Feudal Japan trying to collect Jewel fragments..."  
  
Inuyasha- "YOUR STORY'S FULL OF HOLES! AND I'M GOING TO BEAT YOUR ASS IF YOU KEEP LYING TO US!"  
  
Shippo held his hand.  
  
Shippo- "It's ok, he's not going to beat your ass."  
  
Kagome and Sango watched and were amazed.  
  
Sango- "They've got this good cop- bad cop thing worked out!"  
  
Miroku- "We can't get much out of him. We need to get a seamen sample."  
  
Kagome- "A what?"  
  
Sango- "Oh, she hasn't had Sex Ed yet... (Laughing) Jesus Christ!"  
  
Miroku walked up to Sesshomaru and held up a cup.  
  
Miroku- "If you're not lying, then you wouldn't mind giving us a seamen sample."  
  
Sesshomaru- "A what?"  
  
Inuyasha- "(Holding forehead) God not another one! Come on. We need you to stay in this bathroom and tug on your wiener until white stuff comes out."  
  
Sesshomaru- "My wiener?"  
  
Inuyasha- "Yes retard! How else can you get a seamen sample? Sucking it out? It's the only way know go before beat it out!"  
  
Miroku- "Dude, that didn't sound right."  
  
Sesshomaru went into the bathroom and Miroku called his suspects list.  
  
The projects  
  
Tyrone waved his gun around and cocked it. The phone rang and he picked it up in rage.  
  
Tyrone- "Nigga' I told you to stop calling me! I'm bagging the crack as fast as I can!"  
  
Miroku- "I'm Detective Miroku and we have a warrant for your arrest. We need you to come to the station for questioning."  
  
Tyrone- "Oh... I'll be there around... Let's say six."  
  
Miroku- "How about five."  
  
Tyrone- "No, I'll be trafficking rocks then! How about seven?"  
  
Miroku- "Ok... Just remember to show up!"  
  
Tyrone- "Ok, I have something to say that you don't know about me... I smoke rocks!"  
  
He hung up the phone and shot at birds in the window.  
  
Tyrone- "It's my crack, you can't have it!"  
  
11:00 PM  
  
Tyrone- "Sorry for being late, that's why I brought a fruit basket, wine, and cheeses I have never even seen before!"  
  
Miroku- "Tyrone, were clearing you from the suspects list. Your free to go after this meal."  
  
After they ate, Tyrone stashed a sniper rifle outside of the police station. Morning came and Sango found the gun in the bushes.  
  
Sango- "This is the same kind of rifle that was used to shoot the stripper."  
  
Shippo- "My god..."  
  
Inuyasha- "It's clear that Tyrone is the sniper... We can close this case up and skip the Order part and go to... The LAW!"  
  
Tyrone's apartment  
  
Tyrone gave a few kids some Crack and Inuyasha showed up. He saw Tyrone take out a Crack pipe and they all hit the ground.  
  
Inuyasha- "SHIT! He's armed!!! We need to take heavy precautions. There's no way stopping him now. There could be 2, maybe 3 crack heads in there!"  
  
Shippo- "My god..."  
  
The FBI pulled in and stopped them.  
  
FBI agent- "That would be enough from you all for now."  
  
Kagome- "Hey, this is our lead!"  
  
FBI agent- "Yeah... And you did a nice job leading us here."  
  
Inuyasha- "God damn it man, we have 3 crack heads there! This is no time for fooling around."  
  
Sango- "Listen, we need to charge that front door!!!"  
  
FBI Agent- "Just clear out before we take you in. You have no authority to charge the front door."  
  
They walked off in anger and Miroku was angry.  
  
Miroku- "We need to charge inside of that house..."  
  
Sango- "It's too late! They said we couldn't charge the front door!!!"  
  
Inuyasha- "That's right... (Cocks gun) But they didn't say anything about the back!"  
  
They charged in and Tyrone was smoking crack.  
  
Crack head # 2- "Oh crap, they're coming through the back!" Inuyasha opened fire and they got into a firefight. Crack head #1 hit the ground and died. Tyrone hid and Kagome got a clear shot at him. He held up his hand and the bullet stopped.  
  
Kagome- "Hey Tyrone, that got you!"  
  
Tyrone- "Nuh uh! I have- Hyper Focus like Neo and can stop bullets in mid flight!"  
  
Miroku- "This isn't the Matrix ass face!"  
  
They all hid and Inuyasha pulled out two pistols.  
  
Sango- "They've got a home field advantage on us!"  
  
Shippo- "My god..."  
  
Inuyasha- "Damn it! Cover me guys; I'm going bullet time! (Bullet time motion) Rawww!!!"  
  
He fired two shots and Crack head # 2 was hit. Everything was moving slow and the FBI agents outside were wondering what was going on. Inuyasha fired at Tyrone. Tyrone held up his hands and stopped the bullets.  
  
Inuyasha- "(Bullet time talking, very slow) Not fair Faggot!"  
  
Tyrone- "HAHAHA!"  
  
Shippo hit him with a baseball bat and the crack pipe he was smoking hit the ground. They all jumped out of the window and avoided the blast. Tyrone was arrested and they took him to the jail cell. He was itching and Miroku was asleep.  
  
Tyrone- "Mr. jail keeper, can I have a Red Balls please?"  
  
Miroku gave him one and Tyrone drank it.  
  
Tyrone- "Red balls, it's cocaine in a can baby! (guzzles it) Shazam! AHHHH!!!"  
  
He ran through the jail wall and was free. Miroku looked at him and Tyrone ran back in. he grabbed a pillow and blanket.  
  
Tyrone- "I can make some money off this!"  
  
He left and Miroku woke up Inuyasha.  
  
Miroku- "He's getting away!"  
  
Inuyasha- "Relax... Were only cartoons!"  
  
The end  
  
Well, if this one does well, I can turn this into a series. 


	2. The family reunion murder

Inuyasha  
  
LAW and order  
  
2!!!  
  
"The Family reunion"  
  
MURDER!!!  
  
Girl- "Oh my god, I'm so tired. I'm going to walk into the dark forest for a few minutes."  
  
Boy #1- "I'll come over!"  
  
Boy #2- "ME TOO!"  
  
Guy- "You kids are faggots. You're not getting laid."  
  
Karl held his sling blade and looked at them.  
  
Karl- "You be alright kid. You ain't getting laid today. Now you guys better get me some mustard and biscuits before I whack you with my blade. Yup."  
  
Girl- "But my mother fixed biscuits already you silly!"  
  
They laughed and Karl slapped the biscuits away. He grabbed one and held it up to the girl's face.  
  
Karl- "Do you see mustard on these? Do you want to get in the fucking house and put mustard on these?!"  
  
Girl- "Ok... I'll get the goddamn mustard!"  
  
She walked into the house and Karl looked at everybody.  
  
Karl- "I gotta' pee."  
  
He got up and walked towards the house. A few minutes passed and he came back with sling blade. Blood was everywhere and he smiled.  
  
Karl- "Mmhm... I told you not to put mayonnaise on my biscuits... Yup. Mmhm."  
  
Mother- "OH MY GOD!!!"  
  
Biscuits were covered with blood and the little girl was hacked up all over the floor. Karl ate a biscuit and smiled.  
  
Karl- "Mmhm. This is some good biscuits now."  
  
He ate a few and the mother called the detective agency. Miroku had a cigar in his mouth and he was checking through the photo archive of the dead porn star case. The phone rang and Inuyasha had a bubble coming out of his nose.  
  
Miroku- "Get the phone..."  
  
Sango and Kagome were in the same bed since Shippo pissed on Kagome's bed. Kagome woke up and heard it ringing. Shippo was asleep next to the phone and Sango grabbed her boomerang. She hit Shippo with it and Shippo screamed. He got the phone and rubbed his eyes.  
  
Shippo- "Hello?"  
  
Sango- "Answer it."  
  
Mother- "There's been a murder!"  
  
Shippo- "My god..."  
  
Sango- "Answer the phone!"  
  
Shippo- "I'VE GOT IT!!!"  
  
Mother- "Her uncle Karl may have killed her!!!"  
  
Shippo- "My god..."  
  
Inuyasha's bubble popped and he woke up. Shippo was shocked and Inuyasha got ready for the case.  
  
Miroku- "Where's the victim?"  
  
Shippo- "At a family reunion somewhere across town."  
  
Inuyasha got armed and made sure the chambers were loaded. The safety was off and they went to the reunion.  
  
Kagome- "Should we really bring him?"  
  
Sango- "Sure..."  
  
They arrived at the reunion and the family was scared stiff. Miroku looked around and Shippo saw the little girl's body.  
  
Shippo- "My god..."  
  
Kagome- "Jesus tap dancing Christ of Nazareth!!!"  
  
Sango stepped away from Kagome and lightning started to strike. Inuyasha looked around and ate a biscuit.  
  
Inuyasha- "These biscuits are pretty good!"  
  
Kagome- "Those have blood on them!"  
  
Inuyasha- "AHHH!"  
  
He puked and took another bite. There was a Ziploc on the counter and he put the biscuits in them.  
  
Shippo- "My god..."  
  
Miroku- "This is strange... The killer left a trail of blood!"  
  
Kagome- "AH! Why didn't I see this before?"  
  
Miroku opened her purse and Kagome cleared her throat.  
  
Kagome- "It's obviously that the killer followed the little girl in the house. He needed mustard on the biscuits or else he would die. This idiot had some strange diet plans when he was young. Obviously it was part of a building plot when he was little. His father built him his own shed where he could just stare at the wall all day. Now follow me along, I'm on a role! His dad was some loser drunk obviously and his brother and sister were way important than he was."  
  
Miroku- "Hold on, she always does this."  
  
Inuyasha- "And you said I was fucking crazy."  
  
Kagome- "He would just read the bible for a few hours and he had a bunch of smart ass kids who lived around him. One night, he saw a kid from down the road in bed with his momma and he hit the kid with the blunt edge of a Kaiser blade. Now don't correct me, some people call it a Sling Blade but I call it a Kaiser blade. Anyway, he turned the blade around and killed the kid!"  
  
Shippo- "My god..."  
  
Kagome- "His mother just bitched and bitched at him and he killed her and wound up here with some crappy diet supplement with biscuits and mustard."  
  
Miroku- "How does this shit add up?"  
  
Kagome- "I don't know!"  
  
Mother- "AH! Shut up! Yes, that story happened years ago but he wouldn't commit the same crime twice."  
  
Inuyasha got his guns and Karl wasn't there.  
  
Inuyasha- "I'm going into town to find Karl... You guys go and get suspects."  
  
Miroku- "Yes, we'll need to get seamen samples from everybody in this room."  
  
Sango- "I have a suspects list."  
  
An hour passed and Sota smiled at Miroku. He hit him with a pair of brass knuckles and Sota fell to the ground. Shippo held his hand and patted him on the back while Miroku punched him.  
  
Sota- "What are you doing?!"  
  
Miroku- "Beating information out of you!"  
  
Sota- "But I don't know anything!"  
  
Miroku- "Bullshit! I see you giving me that odd look... (Puts Sota in a chair) You know you did it. You just don't want to say it. Sota, we need information from you..."  
  
Shippo- "Don't worry, we wont tell anybody what you told us!"  
  
Sota- "I don't know anything! Just leave me alone!"  
  
Shippo- "Good... Then we'll need a seamen sample!"  
  
Sota- "Huh?"  
  
Shippo- "HAHAHA! This idiot doesn't know what a seamen sample is!"  
  
Sota- "What is a seamen sample?"  
  
Shippo- "I don't know... I was hoping you would know."  
  
Kagome- "Sota, I know your 12, but we need this sample to find out a murder."  
  
Miroku- "Ok, well need you to tug on your wiener for a few hours until white stuff comes out." Sango- "He's new at this. Just go into the bathroom and take this cup."  
  
Sota smiled and looked at Kagome.  
  
Kagome- "It's ok, I wont tell mom."  
  
Sota- "Being a suspect kicks ass!"  
  
He ran into the bathroom with a few cups and came out 20 minutes later. Miroku was reading a newspaper and Sota gave him 5 cups.  
  
Miroku- "Fuck me, that was fast! We just needed a sample, not 5 cups."  
  
Sota- "Well, you didn't put a line on it and I gave you that much to be sure. Just take the sample and make a sculpture out of the rest of it."  
  
He left and Kagome had a flashback. She was knocking on the bathroom door and Sota screamed for her to shut up. They were at Christmas break and Kagome was confused.  
  
Kagome- "Sota, why don't you ever ask for Christmas presents?"  
  
Sota- "Because I'm afraid that they would ask me what I do in the bathroom for two hours."  
  
She was brought back to reality and she walked upstairs.  
  
Kagome- "I'm telling mom."  
  
They got their end of the case pieced together and Inuyasha found Karl at a WacDonalds.  
  
Karl- "I'll have some French fried taters Mmhm."  
  
He got his food and sat down. Inuyasha sat next to him.  
  
Inuyasha- "Hey Karl."  
  
Karl- "Hey there. My names Karl."  
  
Inuyasha- "My names Inuyasha. Were investigating a murder. But were worried about some kind of people being involved..."  
  
Karl- "What are you worried about?"  
  
Inuyasha looked around and whispered in his ears.  
  
Inuyasha- "Homosexuals!" Karl- "Mmhm, that's funny."  
  
Inuyasha- "No, it's scary. Karl... Are you a homosexual?"  
  
Karl- "Mmm... I don't know."  
  
Inuyasha- "You know, guys kissing guys..."  
  
Karl- "I thought you were talking about a murder."  
  
Inuyasha- "No, it's more than that. Do you know any- homosexuals?"  
  
Karl- "No... Wait, no..."  
  
Inuyasha- "Those homosexuals are out there."  
  
Karl- "Mmhm, that's not funny anymore."  
  
Inuyasha- "Homosexuals are gay!"  
  
Karl- "I'm gonna cut you with my Sling blade like a did that girl."  
  
Inuyasha jumped up and cuffed him.  
  
Inuyasha- "YES! My homosexual talk will get any killer to confess!"  
  
Karl- "You got me. Wait, I have to talk to the boy real quick."  
  
Inuyasha and the group let him talk to the boy. Karl was in the mental institution and Tyrone walked up to him while dragging a chair against the floor.  
  
Tyrone- "Hey Karl! I'm itchy today!"  
  
Karl- "You always itchy. You need to lay off that crack Tyrone."  
  
Tyrone- "Well, I know this story about this homosexual that was a truck driver. He smoked crack for fun. Have you smoked crack before?"  
  
Karl got up and turned his chair.  
  
Karl- "I ain't listenin' to you anymore Tyrone."  
  
The End 


	3. Crimes of the Force

Inuyasha  
  
"LAW and order"  
3  
  
"Crimes of the force"  
  
Miroku drove through the streets and he saw a trail of smoke coming out of a house. He parked next to it and kicked down the door. Sango was smoking crack and Miroku gasped.  
  
Miroku- "Sango!!!"  
  
Sango- "Oh god! You caught me..."  
  
Miroku- "Get in the car!!!"  
  
She tossed the crack pipe and got into the car.  
  
Miroku- "Sango, smoking crack to get a promotion... No. Smoking crack to get high... (Thumbs up) yeah!"  
  
Sango- "I'm sorry! Miroku, you can't tell anybody!!! I was just bored and I met Tyrone again!"  
  
Miroku- "You met who?"  
  
Sango put her face in his lap and started to cry.  
  
Sango- "Don't tell anybody!!! Please!!!"  
  
Miroku tried to keep a hold of the wheel and he about hit a dumpster. Sango kept moving her head left and right while begging him to not tell. Miroku's eyes rolled into the back of his head. He hit a dumpster and they were in front of the police station.  
  
Miroku- "Sango... I'm telling on you!"  
  
Sango- "No you don't!!!"  
  
They ran inside and Shippo was sleeping on the computer. They kicked down the door to Inuyasha's room and Inuyasha gasped. He threw the blanket over his head and Miroku jumped.  
  
Miroku- "INUYASHA! I was driving down the road..."  
  
Sango- "Miroku crashed his car!" Miroku- "Sango was smoking crack!"  
  
Sango- "Miroku was masturbating at the wheel!"  
  
Miroku- "Sango wreaks of crack!"  
  
Sango- "Miroku has protein stains on his pants and in my hair!"  
  
Miroku- "She's a crack whore!"  
  
Sango- "He's a bad driver!!!"  
  
Inuyasha- "SHUT UP! We'll figure this out in the morning!!! GET OUT!!!"  
  
Sango and Miroku left the room and Kagome came out from under the covers.  
  
Kagome- "Are they gone?"  
  
Inuyasha- "Yeah, but your good there."  
  
Shippo looked at Sango and her eyes were red.  
  
Sango- "I'm thirsty."  
  
Shippo- "Get some water... Wait, your high!!!"  
  
Sango reached for a glass next to the computer and Shippo tried to stop her. Sango took a sip and spit all over the computer.  
  
Sango- "This is fucking Moonshine!"  
  
Shippo nodded and if Sango told on him, he'd tell on her. Then Sango would tell on Miroku so they would all get busted.  
  
Sango- "Now Shippo, just because your 10 feet tall doesn't mean you wont get busted."  
  
Miroku- "Uh, Shippo's over there. I'm Miroku."  
  
Shippo- "Ok, well just have a draw right here. Nobody will tell anybody."  
  
Miroku- "Sango, I heard you mention a name earlier."  
  
Sango- "I'm quitting that shit."  
  
Shippo tossed the bottle of Moonshine and Miroku went to get some new clothes.  
  
Miroku- "That's over."  
  
Morning came and they all tried to get promotions. It was promotion day and the detective agencies were all there. Kagome got a promotion by request of Inuyasha and the sheriff.  
  
Kagome- "I'm so happy!"  
  
Sango left the area and walked behind a porter potty. Tyrone was there and he was itching.  
  
Tyrone- "Now, have you got the money?"  
  
Sango- "Yes, you can't torture me anymore."  
  
Tyrone got 100 bucks and went down town. He came back and gave Sango a crack rock. Shippo saw the deal and smiled. He took a few pictures and went to get them developed. Inuyasha congratulated Kagome and the Sheriff walked up to them.  
  
Sheriff- "Keep doing what you've been doing and you'll be the sheriff in no time."  
  
Kagome- "Thank you sir!"  
  
Sheriff- "I have another mission for you."  
  
Kagome- "Where?"  
  
Sheriff- "In my pants! Meet me and Inuyasha at the station in two hours."  
  
Kagome smiled and Miroku was becoming a more reckless driver. Night came and Shippo had the pictures developed. Miroku drank some vodka before going behind the wheel and crashed into a streetlight.  
  
Miroku- "Oh god..."  
  
Shippo showed the pictures to the sheriff and he looked at them.  
  
Sheriff- "Damn! That chick's hot!"  
  
Shippo- "No, not her, the crack!"  
  
The sheriff flicked the ashes from his cigar and the pictures burnt away.  
  
Sheriff- "What's going on here?"  
  
Shippo- "Uh... My god... The pictures are on fire!" Sango ran in with Miroku and they were going to snitch on Shippo as a deal.  
  
Sango- "Guess what Shippo did?"  
  
Miroku- "He..."  
  
Shippo thought quick and started to make tears. He bused out in tears and the Sheriff bent down to him.  
  
Shippo- "Sango and Miroku molested me!"  
  
Sango and Miroku gasped and the Sheriff's jaw dropped. Shippo started to cry even more and the Sheriff patted him on the back.  
  
Shippo- "They said if I told anybody, they would kill me!"  
  
Miroku- "Sir, there is a perfectly good explanation for all this."  
  
Sheriff- "I'll see you in court."  
  
They went to court and Kagome was Shippo's defense. Sango and Miroku had Koga as a defense.  
  
Judge- "Order! ORDER! Now, I would like to call Shippo to the stand."  
  
Shippo walked towards the stand and Inuyasha walked in front of him.  
  
Inuyasha- "So... What happened?"  
  
Shippo- "Sango was smoking crack and Miroku was drinking behind the wheel. Miroku and Sango got together one night and started to give me moonshine so I would do things for them... (Crying harder)"  
  
Miroku- "No I didn't! You were caught drinking moonshine and we were going to bust your ass you little fox bitch!"  
  
Shippo froze and he started to cry more.  
  
Shippo- "I was so scared..."  
  
Inuyasha gave Miroku and Sango the evil eye and Shippo went back to his table. Miroku was called to the stand to talk. Inuyasha looked him in the eyes.  
  
Inuyasha- "What happened?"  
  
Miroku- "Now, first..." Inuyasha- "(Smart ass voice) Bull shit! Your honor, this is the worst client ever!"  
  
Kagome- "I think Miroku and Sango are both full of donkey shit! I'm talking stinking, drippy, hanging from your but kind of donkey shit! Those kind of turds that just cause you to push, but they got peanuts sticking out of them and you have to push and it cuts the walls of your ass crack. I mean you'll be like- ARRRR!!! EEEE! AH! And right when you get it out, you'll have dingle berries the size of... Well Inuyasha's tiny pecker! And it will smell, but the worst part is when they hang and when you get them off, they splash your ass crack!"  
  
The jury started to puke and the judge held his mouth.  
  
Judge- "Ok, were glad that your so informative about shit... Now please don't talk about that ever again..."  
  
Kagome- "(Farts) Ok!"  
  
The Sheriff puked and Kagome smiled. She had a little laugh and Inuyasha held his head. He walked up to her and stared her in the eyes.  
  
Inuyasha- "Shut up, you crazy bitch!"  
  
Judge- "You know, I wont even call Sango to the stand. You two violators are being charged with statutory rape and I don't even want to see you in my face for another 2 chapters."  
  
Inuyasha laughed and Sango went to jail with Miroku. Tyrone was itching and he watched them go to prison.  
  
Tyrone- "It's all going to plan... Mwuhahaha!"  
  
The end 


	4. The Mall Shootout

Inuyasha  
LAW and order  
4  
  
"The Mall Shootout"  
  
Kagome sat at her desk with some paper work. Shippo was asleep and Miroku was in jail with Sango. Inuyasha walked in and threw his coat onto a coat rack.  
  
Kagome- "Inuyasha, where were you? You were late."  
  
Inuyasha- "Would you lay off my back? It's bad enough when I have to solve cases alone and come home to you nagging!"  
  
Kagome felt sad and she looked away.  
  
Inuyasha- "Sorry, it's been a rough day."  
  
Kagome- "How about I go fix some Ramen?"  
  
Inuyasha looked out the window and smiled.  
  
Inuyasha- "Ok..."  
  
Kagome left the room and Inuyasha checked his E-mail. There were some people who wanted to take Sango and Miroku's job. Inuyasha made them meet at the office. Morning came and Kaeda showed up.  
  
Kaeda- "Can I take this job?"  
  
Inuyasha- "Hell no."  
  
Sesshomaru came out of the bathroom and had a cup.  
  
Sesshomaru- "I got my seamen sample!"  
  
Inuyasha- "Oh... But we solved that case a few episodes ago... Yeah... You can get in line and become a detective."  
  
Sesshomaru- "I shall set you ablaze!"  
  
He ran away and Koga was up next.  
  
Koga- "I'm really interested in this job. Can I join?"  
  
Inuyasha- "Ok... But if you touch Kagome or say one crack behind my back, I'll incite a fury and kick you into the floors of a nightmare you couldn't possibly imagine! I'll cut off your head and shit down your neck! Then, I'll gouge out your eyeballs and SKULL FUCK YOU!"  
  
Koga gasped and Inuyasha smiled.  
  
Koga- "Do you know how to drive?"  
  
Inuyasha- "I played Grand Theft Auto Vice City for 2 hours, don't fuck with me!"  
  
Koga got ready and Yura walked in with a trench coat. She threw it to the floor and posed.  
  
Yura- "I'm sexy enough to replace Sango, can I join?"  
  
Inuyasha- "Sure!"  
  
Yura reached in between her tits and pulled out a rag. She wiped off and put it back.  
  
Conan- "Can I join?"  
  
Conan jumped up onto the table.  
  
Inuyasha- "Who are you?"  
  
Conan- "I'm Conan Ikigawa! You know, I had my own TV series called Detective Conan which isn't going to get cancelled anytime soon!"  
  
Inuyasha- "And you base that on what?"  
  
Conan- "I used to be Jimmy Kudo until they slipped me with poison."  
  
Inuyasha- "We have enough little 2 foot bitches on our team."  
  
Shippo- "Yeah, that's why I'm here! There's only room for one! Ha-HA! You have to find a new job."  
  
Inuyasha- "I know, we can only have one... Too bad... Shippo, your fired! Conan, your hired."  
  
Conan- "YES!"  
  
Shippo walked out the door and drank some moonshine. A case came up and Inuyasha heard about a murder in the country.  
  
Inuyasha- "It's time to see who's good for what. Koga, Conan, your careers are on the line."  
  
Koga- "What about Yura?"  
  
Inuyasha- "The sexy chick doesn't do anything but bring up stuff that sounds awesome. Plus, you two are like- total faggots and I don't like you. So if you have one more crack like that, I'll throw you out!"  
  
They got ready and went out to the country. Conan saw the scene and figured it out.  
  
Conan- "Why didn't I think of this before?"  
  
Inuyasha and Kagome were listening to what Yura collected.  
  
Yura- "This place was a whore house. You see that chick, shed do anything for this guy. I don't see why she would murder her boyfriend. I mean it's like this... You see my top, I'll take it off. That simple. I'll give you a demo."  
  
Conan ran in and was excited.  
  
Conan- "I solved the case!"  
  
Yura stopped unbuttoning her top.  
  
Inuyasha- "No you didn't..."  
  
Conan- "Yes I did! It was the man's girlfriend's mother!"  
  
Mother- "It's true!!!"  
  
Yura buttoned up and Inuyasha started to shake.  
  
Inuyasha- "Wait, we need extra info! Keep going Yura."  
  
Kagome put up her PDA and Yura walked outside.  
  
Kagome- "Were done here."  
  
Inuyasha was about to choke Conan and he didn't want to go to jail for attacking a minor. Koga had blood on him and he was sick.  
  
Inuyasha- "It happens, let's get some water and was the crap off."  
  
Koga- "Man, I just felt like running away today. Do you feel like that?"  
  
Inuyasha started to pull a bucket up towards him and he laughed.  
  
Inuyasha- "No, you need to work harder Koga. You can't just run away from everything! You have to be tough!"  
  
Inuyasha pulled the pale to the top of the well and screamed like a girl. Koga looked into the bucket and screamed. There was a swarm of snakes and they screamed.  
  
Inuyasha- "SNAKES! OH GOD!!!"  
  
They took off running into the woods and Koga started brushing off.  
  
Koga- "God I hate those things!"  
  
Inuyasha started squirming and he threw his shirt on the ground.  
  
Inuyasha- "One of them looked at me! Ewww!!!"  
  
Yura walked towards them and Inuyasha put his shirt on.  
  
Yura- "What are you doing out here?"  
  
Inuyasha- "Nothing..."  
  
Yura- "Look what I found!"  
  
A snake crawled out from between her tits and they screamed. The day was over and Yura was sitting in front of Inuyasha.  
  
Inuyasha- "Can I borrow a rag?"  
  
Yura pulled one out of her shirt and Inuyasha smiled. He wiped off on it and Kagome looked at him. Yura kept pulling out shit left and right.  
  
Conan- "I think he's happy."  
  
Kagome was worried about Sango and Miroku so she gave them a call. Miroku was in a jail cell with Sango and they tried to act tough.  
  
Guard- "Hey, you got a phone call."  
  
Miroku picked up the phone and tried to sound bad.  
  
Miroku- "(gruff voice) What the fuck do you want?"  
  
Kagome- "Miroku, it's Kagome!" Miroku- "(Normal voice) Oh, hey Kagome! Jail is so boring. How are things back at the office?"  
  
Kagome- "Great, we have new replacements and Shippo's been fired."  
  
Miroku- "Cool! When will we be out?"  
  
Kagome- "Two chapters from now. We still have to have one with you in jail. I have to go."  
  
Miroku- "Good. (Gruff voice) I got a little bitch to pop named Dave to pop!"  
  
Kagome hung up and Dave was right behind Miroku.  
  
Dave- "Hey, I never said I was done with you."  
  
Miroku- "(Normal voice) Don't hurt me!"  
  
Sango punched him and kicked Dave to the ground.  
  
Sango- "He's my bitch, you can't have him!"  
  
An inmate looked at Sango and wiped his head.  
  
Inmate- "That's a very pretty man."  
  
Kagome was typing and there was a reported shootout at the mall. Inuyasha got ready and they went to the mall.  
  
Inuyasha- "This will be rough! MOVE!!! MOVE!!! MOVE!!!"  
  
They got out of the car and crawled on their stomachs to the mall. Conan grabbed a pistol and started firing. He made one shot and waited to fire 10 seconds later.  
  
Inuyasha- "No Conan!!! You don't just fire one every five seconds to save ammo! The Bureau pays for ammo. You blind fire and hit everything!"  
  
Yura pulled a canteen out of her shirt and made blind shots while drinking. Koga grabbed his two Uzi's and ran into the center of the crowd. He spun around and hit everything in his path. Most of the terrorists died and Inuyasha punched Koga.  
  
Inuyasha- "Damn it man, I'm the only one who can look awesome in a firefight!"  
  
Koga- "Like you could do any better!"  
  
Inuyasha- "I played Grand Theft Auto Vice City for 8 hours, don't fuck with me!" A bullet hit Koga in the head and Inuyasha dragged him out of the firing.  
  
Inuyasha- "KOGA!"  
  
Koga- "Inuyasha, don't leave me! You taught me baseball game, and how to raft!"  
  
Inuyasha- "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Koga would have been a fine detective... I'll cry when I'm done killing."  
  
Inuyasha blasted the crap out of terrorists and a tank came in. He ran for cover and his bullets bounced off of the tank.  
  
Inuyasha- "Damn it! We need guns!!!"  
  
Yura reached down her shirt and pulled out two rocket launchers. Inuyasha took them and grabbed her tits.  
  
Inuyasha- "You both will make great detectives!"  
  
He jumped out and everything went into bullet time. A tank shell blew off his shirt and his muscles bulged out. Inuyasha had on a headband and he blasted the tank with the rocket launchers. It blew up and the mall was destroyed. Conan ran in with two women on his shoulders.  
  
Conan- "I found these broads, can I have them?"  
  
Inuyasha- "Were liberating!!! Of course you can!"  
  
Tyrone saw the carnage and Conan was given a medal. Inuyasha got jealous and remembered he was an adult before he became a child. He started to strangle him because it was perfectly legal. The day closed up and Yura was permanently on the team. Conan was strangled and they had to cancel Detective Conan (aka Case Closed). It was a jolly good day...  
  
The End 


	5. Prison is a btch!

Inuyasha  
LAW and order  
5  
  
"Prison's a bitch!"  
  
Miroku and Sango were benching and Miroku put his weight set up.  
  
Miroku- "You know what, how did they mistake you as a guy?"  
  
Sango- "5 o'clock shadow... I look like a guy in the 5 o'clock shadow. I always hated how my face was animated in the demon costume. I look like I had done meth when I was little."  
  
They went to the mess hall and everybody was eating. Sango and Miroku got their food. Everybody had plastic forks so they couldn't stab each other. An inmate snapped his fork in two and stabbed his friend to death.  
  
Inmate- "Get me to another prison before they but fuck me!"  
  
Sango and Miroku were skeptical and they backed away from the other inmates. It was nightfall and they went to bed.  
  
Miroku- "I wonder how Inuyasha and Kagome are doing..."  
  
Inuyasha was playing video games with Sota. Now, they hired Sota as the little bitch to replace Conan.  
  
Inuyasha- "I'm beating you!"  
  
They were playing 'Inuyasha Feudal Fairytale' for the PS1. Inuyasha was playing as himself and Sota played as Kagome.  
  
Yura- "Quick!!! Up, down, down, down, down, left, square, triangle, X, L1, L1, R2, Circle!!!"  
  
Inuyasha- "What?"  
  
Yura- "Use the Backlash Wave!"  
  
Inuyasha- "Oh yeah!"  
  
He pulled it off and Sota watched Kagome (Inside the game) fly to pieces and bleed to death.  
  
Sota- "Fucking weak!!!" Inuyasha- "I beat you! That's 20 times in a row."  
  
Sota pulled out a gun and held it up to Inuyasha.  
  
Sota- "Man, I'll blow your fucking head off!"  
  
Inuyasha- "Whoa! Where did you learn that kind of stuff at?"  
  
Sota- "Watching Looney Toons..."  
  
Inuyasha- "Damn it Sota, you have to remember the power is not in the gun!"  
  
Sota- "It's in the bullet!"  
  
Inuyasha- "That's right!"  
  
They turned off the game and went to go piss off Kagome. In jail, Miroku was challenging Sango to a thumb war.  
  
Miroku- "Damn it!!! DAMN IT!!! GODDAMN IT!"  
  
Sango- "I win!"  
  
It was nearing morning and Miroku woke up with Dave behind him. He screamed and they went to the weight room. Sango was lifting weights with Miroku.  
  
Miroku- "Sango..."  
  
Sango- "What?"  
  
Miroku- "What's it like being the bitch when your doing you know what?"  
  
Sango- ""Miroku!"  
  
Miroku- "I know you've done naughty stuff while I was gone."  
  
Sango- "It's like running naked in a wheat field backwards."  
  
Miroku- "That's not so bad."  
  
Sango- "That's when you're with a girl. When it's a guy, it's a corn field."  
  
Miroku gasped and he thought for a second.  
  
Miroku- "Wait? You've been with girls?"  
  
Sango- "No... Hell no... Never... Maybe. Just once."  
  
Miroku sat up and looked at her.  
  
Miroku- "You're a bisexual!"  
  
Sango covered his mouth and all the guys looked at them.  
  
Sango- "He's in queer denial. Don't give me that look or I'll but fuck all of you!"  
  
They all turned around and Miroku started benching.  
  
Miroku- "Man, that's not cool. Well, maybe it is."  
  
It came to smoking break and they had 10 minutes. Miroku was listening to all of her stories and Dave smiled. He knew something big was about to happen. The guards walked out and all the inmates stood up.  
  
Guard- "Shower time!"  
  
Sango gasped and she walked up to them.  
  
Sango- "I thought we would just have to sit around and get stinky!"  
  
Guard- "Not here, get naked and get in."  
  
Miroku grabbed her hand and they walked in.  
  
Miroku- "This is like the worlds biggest sausage fest... (Shrugs) Bluhhh..."  
  
He stood in front of Sango and stared every guy the walked by in the eye.  
  
Miroku- "Are you done?"  
  
Sango put a towel on and Dave walked by.  
  
Dave- "You ready to be my bitch?"  
  
Sango got in front of Miroku and was pissed.  
  
Sango- "I told you, he's my bitch!!!"  
  
Dave was about to fight and he looked at her body with the towel on.  
  
Dave- "(Admired) Mmmhmmm..."  
  
Sango went back to the cell and Miroku followed. They got dressed and Miroku wiped his head.  
  
Miroku- "I think Dave knows."  
  
Sango- "You think? If he tells everybody, it's going to be like running backwards through thick cornfields with thorns. Any way, lets just say that's going to suck! And it will happen to both of us!"  
  
Niroku- "AHHHH!!!! Oh look, he spelled my name wrong! In case if anyone's confused, I'm Miroku due to a typo."  
  
Miroku scratched his head and they had to find a way out. Sango looked at Miroku's hand and then at the bars.  
  
Sango- "Miroku, your hand! The bars!!! We can escape!!!"  
  
Miroku looked at her and at his hand. He looked at the bars and back at her. Then he looked at the bars and at her again. He looked at his hand and then her. Sango had the same look and he looked to the left, then back at her. Sango didn't move and he looked at her a few more times, then back at his hand. He looked at the bars and gasped.  
  
Miroku- "YOUR RIGHT!!!"  
  
He pulled out his wind tunnel and sucked away the bars. They made a hasty escape and Miroku slid under a desk with Sango. They ran across the walls to avoid the floor traps. Sango swung around the pipes and landed. Miroku did the same and they ran as fast as possible through prison cell hallway. All the inmates started throwing shit at them. They got away and were going across an alligator pit. Sango jumped on their heads while Miroku hitched a ride on her back. They were near a staircase leading to the exit. When they went down it, a boulder chased them. The door to the exit was cling and Miroku went under it. Sango slid gut first under it and a wallet was on the ground. She grabbed it and they went to the front office. A bunch of cops were waiting for them and they had guns.  
  
Cops- "FREEZE!"  
  
Sango- "Shit!!!"  
  
Miroku- "Uh... Let's beat these bitches!!!"  
  
They charged and were prepared to fight. Sango let out her war cry and they were drawing closer. Miroku screamed in anger and the inmates watched. Sango held back her fist to fight. Miroku lifted his hand and sucked them all up in the wind tunnel.  
  
Miroku- "That was quick!" Sango- "Your right..."  
  
Miroku- "We have to get out of here!!!"  
  
Sango- "Theirs a cabin just 5 miles away from here. We can stay there."  
  
Miroku- "Can't we just get the others? Town in just 30 Miles out. We can get there by..."  
  
Sango- "ALONE!"  
  
Miroku- "Ok..."  
  
They ran out to the woods and saw a cabin.  
  
Sango- "Crystal Lake!!! That's a good place to stay!!!"  
  
Miroku- "I don't know... I'm not going to do any drugs, or leave the room with you for any reason... What was that last rule to survive a horror movie? Think of that movie Scream... What's you favorite horror movie, blah- blah- blah... Schools closed... Drinking party... DAMN IT! Ok, lets go on ahead."  
  
At the detective agency, Inuyasha was having a dream... Sango forgot to feed him Ramen and he wanted revenge. They were at a construction site and Sota filled up a huge hole of cement. Kagome walked by and Sota got on his knees. Inuyasha pushed her and she tripped over Sota. They watched her drown in cement. Both of them laughed and Kagome's hair stuck out of the cement. Inuyasha woke up and Kagome was asleep.  
  
Inuyasha- "Damn, that was scary dream!!!"  
  
Yura was asleep and Sota knocked him out. Sango and Miroku were at the camp. They had a fridge and the police were after them. Sango was digging through it and they decided to get kinky with the food. Miroku took off her socks and saw her gunk covered feet. He put a cup of Tabasco sauce on her feet and tried to lick it off. He swallowed a toenail and puked. After 20 minutes, he gave her a neck massage and reached into the fridge. Sango kept her eyes closed and Miroku started rubbing her with a hot dog. She opened her eyes and saw it.  
  
Sango- "I was planning on eating that!"  
  
They were half naked and Sango got a block of cheese. She put a lighter up to it and let it drop on Miroku's bare flesh.  
  
Miroku- "Ah... AH! AH!!!"  
  
They got into a room and started making a vase from pottery. Miroku was behind her and they were smiled. After working on it, the vase began to bend. Sango- "Let's get it on!"  
  
Jason Vorhees was next to them and he was making a vase too. He pulled out the Machete and Sango screamed.  
  
Miroku- "Oh, that was the last rule! Never have sex in a horror movie..."  
  
They screamed like little bitches and ran circles around him. Jason tried to swing at Sango and she ran into a corner. Miroku looked at the table and picked up a pocketknife. He tossed it back and forth between both hands and Jason knocked it away.  
  
Miroku- "AHHH!!!"  
  
He grabbed a saltshaker and threw it into Jason's eyes. Jason held his eyes and ran around the room. Sango got up and they ran away. She ate a banana and tossed the peel. Jason ran in and slipped on it. A cheesy slipping sound was made and studio crowd laughed. Jason took a swing at Miroku after he got up. Miroku dodged it and they backed up. Jason made one more slash and Miroku dodged it. The machete cut the camera man in half and Miroku ran with Sango. Jason chased them through the woods and Sango tripped.  
  
Sango- "MIROKU!!!! HELP!!!"  
  
Miroku saw that Jason had just left the cabin and they were out in the woods. He ran away and Sango tried to move. She had the camera up to her face and tears poured down her face.  
  
Sango- "I'm too afraid right no! I'm sorry mom... I'm sorry dad... I'm sorry for hitting Shippo! I'm so goddamn scared!!! I'm too afraid to open my eyes... I'm to afraid to close them... I can't move!!! Help me!"  
  
Jason appeared next to her and she ran away screaming. He snapped his fingers in anger and Miroku was running through another house. Jason pushed a fake portrait in the way and Miroku ran through it. It puzzled Jason and he ran towards it. He hit it and went flat. Sango ran into the house. Jason put up a rock trap to crush her. She ran under it and Jason pulled the rope. Nothing happened and Sango got away. Jason walked towards the rock trap and started poking it with a stick. He stopped and held up a sign.  
  
Sign- "What the fuck am I doing?"  
  
The rocks crushed him and he thought of another plan. Miroku ran through a hall way and Jason put a rocket on his back. He flew towards him and Miroku turned off. Jason went out the window and the rocket stopped. He blinked twice and fell to the ground. When he hit, a smoke circle flew out. Sango and Miroku met up and Jason chased them. They ran through a hallway of doors and kept coming out different ways. Miroku came out of a door and held his foot out. Jason ran out the same door and tripped. Miroku laughed and Jason got up. He pulled out the Machete and Miroku ran away screaming. They ran into town and into a tunnel. Jason followed and a train killed him. Inuyasha was playing the PS1 with Sota and Miroku busted out of the floor with Sango. The TV was destroyed with the play station. Inuyasha gasped and Miroku took a breather.  
  
Miroku- "Inuyasha were back!"  
  
Sango- "We went through hell, but we are finally back!"  
  
Inuyasha- "I'm thrilled! I hope you brought a thousand dollars to pay for my High Definition TV and PS1!"  
  
They laughed and Inuyasha looked around.  
  
Inuyasha- "I'm fucking serious, where's my money?"  
  
The End 


	6. Soylent Green

Inuyasha

LAW and order

6

"Soylent Green"

Miroku was filling out paper work while Inuyasha tried to fix his TV. Sango and Yura were tanning while Kagome tried to work on her laptop outside. Sota was on the roof with a broom and Kagome gasped.

Kagome- "What are you doing?"

Sota- "I'm playing Harry Potter!"

Kagome- "Be careful... We've went through 2 Little bitches already..."

Sota ran towards the edge and jumped.

Sota- "Bippity boppity boo! Wait, Supercalifredulasasispialadoshis! SHIT!"

He went head first into the ground and Kagome filled out paperwork. Sango and Yura were competing for the title as Sexual active detective.

Kagome- "Oh god... Obscene words like Sh..."

Censors- "(Dorky voice) Poop."

Kagome- "and f..."

Censors- "Monkey."

Kagome- "Have been censored out of this episode due to Sota..."

Censors- "Badly hurting."

Kagome- "Himself!"

Shippo saw what happened inside and gasped.

Shippo- "My god..."

Sango and Yura were posing on Inuyasha's desk. Inuyasha looked at Yura and Kagome noticed that Yura was dragging them apart.

Sango- "I'm so sexy, I can go on for hours. With all my spit, I can lick Kagome's-"

Censors- "Stamp Collection."

Sango- "All night!"

Yura- "I'm so sexy and good, I can go and suck a-"

Censors- "lollypop."

Yura- "For as long as I want!"

Inuyasha- "I'm impressed. Yura, who trained you?"

Yura- "Can I stay?"

Inuyasha- "Who trained you?"

Yura- "Do you have to learn everything about my sexuality? I'm going upstairs to sob naked and write about how my breasts don't grow anymore!"

She ran upstairs crying and Miroku chased her upstairs with a camera. Her scene was cut out and Miroku walked downstairs.

Miroku- "Damn..."

Inuyasha- "What's her problem?"

Miroku- "I'll keep an eye on that."

Sango looked at them and looked down.

Sango- "I wish I had big tits..."

TV Spokesman- "YOU! Yes you! Listen, you can have big tits. Hell, you can have good munchies. Try our three products, Soylent Red, Soylent Green, and Soylent Yellow!"

Sango- "I can?"

TV Spokesman- "NO-"

Censors- "Poop"

TV Spokesman-"Now get off your ass and get a bigger ass by eating Soylent Yellow! Or, be full and lose weight with Soylent Red. Get addicted, high, and big tits with Soylent Green! GOOO!!!!"

Sango- "Yeah!"

She ran out the door and Kagome was eating Soylent Green.

Kagome- "Something is funny about this..."

She stopped eating and a week passed by. Sango had a D-Cup and Yura was losing the contest.

Inuyasha- "How do you do it?"

Miroku- "I think it's that Soylent Green. Is it legal?"

The entire force was eating it and Inuyasha went to go find out about it. Miroku followed and Tyrone was watching them.

Tyrone- "It's about time... I hope Dave gives me some Rocks!"

Inuyasha and Miroku walked towards a farm. They knocked on the front door and Miroku stepped up.

Miroku- "Hello, were from the Po- I mean, FDA. We wanted to see the ingredients for Soylent Green."

Lil' Jon- "WHAT?"

Miroku- "We wanted to see the ingredients for Soylent Green."

Lil' Jon- "WHAT?"

Miroku- "We wanted to see the ingredients for Soylent Green."

Lil' Jon held his ear to them.

Lil' Jon- "WHAT?"

Miroku- "We wanted to see the ingredients for Soylent Green."

Lil' Jon- "OK!"

He let them in and they walked to the factory gates.

Lil' Jon- "Are you planning on a normal or top secret tour?"

Miroku- "Top secret. We wanted to see what you put in. Is that ok?"

Lil' Jon- "YEAH!"

They looked at the factory and men were throwing in pot plants.

Miroku- "So do you put cocaine in this stuff?"

Lil' Jon- "YE- No. What do you think I am, deranged?"

Inuyasha saw a door leading to the crops and he was going to open it. Lil' Jon gasped and Miroku looked too. They gasped and slammed the door.

Lil' Jon- "You must not know... Kill them!"

Inuyasha and Miroku ran away and guards surrounded them.

Inuyasha- "Let's fight!!!"

The fight music from the original batman played. Miroku punched a guard and flashcards came up whenever they punched. Inuyasha kicked a guard in the chest. WAM! Miroku slapped a guard. SLAPPED! Inuyasha ran up a ladder and pushed it over on a guard. OUCH! Miroku kicked a man guard in the nuts. THAT RUINS YOUR WEEKEND! The guards screamed and Miroku threw a fish at a guard's neck. It bit the guard and he screamed. HURTS LIKE HELL! All the guards died and Lil' Jon ran towards them.

Lil' Jon- "You sick Mother-"

Censor- "Flickers"

Lil' Jon- "I'll kill you!!!"

They ran and Lil' Jon cut them off.

Lil' Jon- "HAHAHA! I have you now..."

Inuyasha- "You cant get away with this!!!"

Lil' Jon- "What?"

Inuyasha- "WHAT?"

Lil' Jon- "WHAT?"

Inuyasha- "WHAT?"

Lil' Jon- "WHAT?"

Miroku looked at them both and was confused. Inuyasha perked his ears up.

Inuyasha- "WHAT?"

Lil' Jon moved the hair away from his ears.

Lil' Jon- "WHAT?"

Miroku- "I'm out of here. You two can burn in hell."

Inuyasha and Lil' Jon- "OK!"

Miroku left and Inuyasha gave Lil' Jon a high five. He was captured and Miroku ran home. Everybody at the station was eating Soylent Green and Miroku fell to the ground crying.

Miroku- "Soylent Green is- people! (Crying) People! PEOPLE! AHHHH!!!!"

Tyrone- "Man, pass dat Soylent Green!"

**The End**


	7. Tyrone's Revenge

**Inuyasha**

**LAW and order**

**7**

"Tyrone's revenge"

Yura sat on Miroku's desk tempting him. Miroku was trying to solve a case and she began to bounce her tits up and down.

Yura- "Hurry, you'll never catch Tyrone if you keep screwing around."

Miroku- "Why are you distracting me? How can I get work done while you're being so sexy? STOP!!!"

Yura started to fan herself.

Yura- "Oh gosh, I feel so sweaty I can just pop right out of these clothes!"

Miroku passed out and she looked at the computer. Quickly, she erased all of Miroku's data he gained. Sango saw Miroku on the ground and Kagome was shocked.

Sango- "So that's how it works, huh? Miroku, I think you like Yura more than me!"

Miroku awoke and everything went ape (Censors) poop.

Miroku- "NO! We need to work together to solve this case! I have to find Inuyasha!"

Tyrone showed up petting a cat and he laughed.

Tyrone- "Man, you don't get it! This has been my plan for so long. It all evens up. After you destroyed my crack house, I had to extract my revenge on you all! First, I tried to smoke crack with Sango. After seducing her into Crack, she become a crack head like me!"

Miroku- "Yeah, she's over that!"

Tyrone- "I know! But she was closest to you and I had get you to see her. So luckily I was able to get out of there before you showed up on your daily patrol. Sango knew that she would have to throw her and me off your trail. It was too perfect... I knew that it wouldn't take long until everybody threw you both into jail, or just Sango. It happened to quickly and it was time. Inuyasha needed detectives and I had to get an agent inside of the Bureau. We could easily bring you all down with Miroku and Sango out of the way... Right Yura?"

Yura- "That's right. But your back and everything is working."

Miroku looked at Yura and became pissed.

Miroku- "You sold us out..."

Yura- "No I sold- I mean yeah, I sold you all out. Now I will make you all pay!"

Tyrone tied them all up and he felt like celebrating. Shippo saw them all tied up.

Shippo- "My God..."

Miroku signaled for Shippo to help them. Shippo held up a sign saying that he would be permanently in the group and could not be kicked out. Miroku agreed and Shippo charged in. He kicked Tyrone and Yura backed up.

Tyrone- "You cheap ass crack head! I'll make your ass dance!"

Tyrone began shooting at Shippo's feet and Shippo started to dodge them. Yura whacked Shippo in the back of the head knocked him out.

Miroku- "God damn you Shippo..."

Somewhere else... 

Inuyasha opened up the door and a cloud of smoke pillowed out. His eyes were red, he coughed, and now he needed some water.

Lil' Jon- "You take care white boy."

Inuyasha- "OK!"

They both were stoned off of their minds and Inuyasha looked around. His vision was blurry and Mr. Mackey from South Park looked at him.

Mr. Mackey- "Drugs are bad... M' kay?"

Inuyasha- "What?"

Mr. Mackey walked away and Inuyasha wondered where he was. A Taxicab drove at him and Inuyasha told him to go to the station. When they arrived, everybody was gone and Inuyasha paid the cab driver and went in.

Inuyasha- "I can't let everybody see me like this!"

Inuyasha saw a note on the desk and it was from Tyrone.

Tyrone's voice- "HEY! I got your people and I won't let them go. You best be... Be... Getting over here. To let you know, Yura wrote this letter cause I cant spell! Oh, bring crack!!! PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, stop reading this damn letter and get off your ass!"

Inuyasha wondered what he was going to do and he sat around while looking at the letter. A few hours passed and he got up. He sent out an APB for people who wanted to be detectives. A marionette walked in and looked at him. Inuyasha was freaking out and he knew at this moment he was high.

Virgil- "I'm Virgil Tracy from that popular puppet show called the Thunderbirds. Oh, I always look like this because the creator wanted to use marionette string puppets. I can help you find your friends!"

Inuyasha- "Ok... Next!"

Kaeda sat next to his desk and she wanted to replace Sango.

Kaeda- "I used to be a whore..."

Inuyasha- "Get off of me and get the hell out!"

Kaeda left and nobody else came in.

Inuyasha- "Ok Virgil, lets go!"

Virgil- "Yes sir!"

He got into Thunderbird 2, which was just 4 feet long. Inuyasha ran and the ship caught up. Hours later, Tyrone was walking along the desert with the team and hundreds of crack heads. Inuyasha was waiting on the cliff with a rocket launcher.

Inuyasha- "Don't move Tyrone, or I'll blow up Yura."

Tyrone- "Inuyasha, that's where you've been! You won't do anything to our stripper or music. Your friends are more important."

Inuyasha- "That's right! Give me back all my friends and I'll let you go... Except for Shippo, you can keep him."

Shippo- "Damn you!"

Tyrone- "Go ahead, blow up Yura and our rave music. Blow it back to god."

A bunch of crack head tried to get around the sound equipment and Yura. Tyrone pointed his guns at them.

Tyrone- "(Speaking German) Is Zurrah! Is Zurrah!"

They all backed up and Tyrone looked at Inuyasha.

Tyrone- "Go ahead, blow it all up. Blow it to tiny bits. You spent the last few months trying to see this chick naked. But, you know damn well you want to see her strip as much I do!"

Inuyasha tried to pull the trigger and he threw down the rocket launcher. A bunch of crack heads took him in and tied to up to a post. They started playing music and Yura started dancing.

Miroku- "Don't look at it guys!"

Inuyasha- "What?"

Miroku- "Don't look at her, it'll be horrible. Our women wont ever want to see us again! CLOSE YOUR EYES!"

They all shut their eyes and Yura started dancing. The music started to short circuit and Yura took off her tops. Everybody smiled and Tyrone was losing his mind.

Tyrone- "It's beautiful!"

Yura took off her skirt and everybody smiled. They looked at her crotch and found out she was a hermaphrodite! Tyrone and the two crack heads next to him started screaming. The crowd of crack heads had heart attacks and they dropped to the ground dead. The crack head next to Tyrone screamed and his face melted off. Tyrone held his head and kept screaming. The crack head to the right of him had his head shrink from the horror. Tyrone screamed and his head blew off. Yura kept dancing and the sound speakers blew up. Every body kept screaming and Yura got dressed and walked off. A little crack head in the corner looked around and smiled.

Crack head- "I don't know about you guys, but that was pretty hot!"

He ran off and Inuyasha saw that the ropes were gone. They were free and Virgil Tracy stepped forward.

Virgil- "Were free!"

Inuyasha grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the wires above Virgil. He died and Shippo held him.

Shippo- "NO!"

Weeks Later... 

Tyrone was gone and it was a good day so far. Inuyasha was at the bureau talking about Yura.

Inuyasha- "She's dangerous. You can't let her go to another strip club."

Chief- "Don't worry we have top men working on it right now."

Inuyasha- "What?"

Chief- "Top men..."

Inuyasha- "What?"

Chief- "..."

Inuyasha- "What?"

Chief- "You can shut up now."

Inuyasha moved the fur away from his ears and leaned next to the chief.

Inuyasha- "What?"

Chief- "THAT'S IT! Your ass is going to Japan."

Inuyasha- "OK!"

They were all shipped to Japan and Inuyasha was looking back at America.

Kagome- "You've really screwed us over."

Inuyasha- "OK!"

**The End...**


End file.
